Imperfect Together

Hey! It's been a while!

During my time away from writing, I had many realizations. One that landed pretty hard was one of the reasons I don’t make time to write. I am afraid what I write will not be perfect. That means someone who reads it will know that I am flawed and less than perfect.

Breaking news…what I write is not always going to be perfect because…I am not perfect.

What? You already knew that? Of course you did. I have another piece of news…

You aren’t perfect either.

I can imagine some things you may be thinking…

“Yeh. Thanks for the reminder.”

Or maybe, “I may not be, but perfect is what’s expected.”

Or even, “I’ll never be close to perfect, so why try.”

Those same thoughts have run through my head so many times. There have been things I haven’t tried, haven’t written, or haven’t spoken because I allowed those thoughts to hold me back.

There is another lesson I am desperately trying to learn. There is amazing beauty in imperfection. That beauty is never more evident that when we choose to be imperfect together.

Being imperfect together means that we are taking risks by showing the cracks in our emotions, the flaws in our thinking, and the uniqueness in our personality. It can be a very vulnerable place. But what does that really mean?

There are times when our emotions do not seem to be our friend. Anger can get lead us to use harsher words than needed in a conversation. Sadness or disappointment can keep us from reaching out to someone when we really need a shoulder. We can feel guilty about sharing something because we don’t want someone else to feel bad, so we don’t share it. Fear gets in the way of doing something new.

There are times when we may be trying to think through something and it gets jumbled and hard to process or make decision about. It may even feel like we are wrong for whatever is invading our headspace. For some, making a connection with someone to talk it out is a huge risk. A risk of being seen as weak, needy or even “stupid”. It can seem like taking that next bold step could lead to failure.

There are times when we hide our individuality to “fit in” or not offend. It can sometimes feel like we are “too much” or “not enough”, and instead of letting our unique beauty come through, we let it stay hidden.

Think of a person in your life right now, friend or family member maybe, that you respect or admire. Are they perfect? Have they done everything they’ve tried perfectly the first time? Do you think any less of them for “failing” or do you admire them more for taking the chance to do or share something new? I’m betting you admired and respected them more because of their imperfect, wobbly steps into a new adventure. You didn’t focus on their failure…you focused on their strength and vulnerability. You may have even felt proud of them. Not because of how perfectly they did something, but because they tried.

What holds us back from taking our own wobbly next steps?

Is it our fear of failure…of not being perfect? That’s a good possibility.

Maybe a way to help you take a bold step is to remember that we are all imperfect. To find that person or people who you can be imperfect and vulnerable with…to be imperfect together.

Take a few minutes to think about what you need to share with someone or what next step you want to take. Then think about the people or person in your life who you can safely be imperfect with. Sometimes there are different people for different situations. And sometimes it can be someone completely outside of your normal circle of friends and family.

Now…take a deep breath, send a text, make a phone call, set up a meeting, and together take that wobbly next step into a new adventure.

We make big changes one step at a time by being imperfect together.